drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
