so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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