my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
