She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
