Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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