guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
