ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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