Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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