I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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