When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
