Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I accidentally burped into my bong.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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