I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
