okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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