i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
