new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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