If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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