so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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