the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just gift wrapped bread.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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