so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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