Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
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i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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