Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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