I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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