WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
