Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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