are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
