Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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