Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
