but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
