Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
