How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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