Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize