We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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