The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We named our party play list daddy issues
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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