Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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