I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Life is so much better after having sex.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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