You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
