Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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