Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
