have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Can I color on your dick again?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
