The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
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Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
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She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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