My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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