problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
