it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
