There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
