Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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