he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
