im drinking this country out of the recession.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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