it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
