remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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