If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
