worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
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You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
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I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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