at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
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I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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