I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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