im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
