that's an acceptable place to lick
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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