Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
