How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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