and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize