i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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