Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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