He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
