I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
