Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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