There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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