One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
