Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
