next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
