But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
