Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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