even my farts smell like vagina
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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