i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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